For A Purpose Bigger Than Me

 

Joe, you grew up in a Christian home, but there was a time in your life when you stepped away from your faith only to return to the Lord. Could you share about that time and what led you back to Christ?

Absolutely. First, I want to say that I’m very thankful for my childhood and for my mother for taking us to church. Some people say, “Well, they don’t want to go; I won’t make them.” Attending church certainly planted a seed in me, which was crucial to my eventual return. But when I was small, I think I was angry and confused. My father left when I was young, and it was at this point that life became tough, and I was searching for my identity. My grandfather, who stepped in like a surrogate father, passed away when I was eleven. He lived several streets away and was a pastor—we come from a family of pastors, and I think it had a greater impact on me than I realized. I was not the most outgoing individual to begin with. Still, I became much more of an introvert at that moment, and I questioned life, my purpose for being here, and pretty much everything, because I felt so alone and angry. Then, I had an uncle who returned to New York, and he stepped in, in a way, and then soon after my senior year of high school, he too passed away. So, there was so much hurt, angst, and disappointment in my life, and I didn’t have straightforward answers for why these different things were happening. Again, I had a wonderful family, and my mother prayed for us and with us daily—we were truly a Christ-centered home, but I had a lot of questions. Additionally, we were part of a smaller church, and as unfortunate as this may sound, I think larger churches in the community also looked down upon us. However, we had a dynamic choir and worship team, and the Spirit of God moved. But I saw the hurt that my grandmother went through because when you’re a pastoral family, you see the tears that other people don’t see or hear about. She didn’t talk about things that much. Still, you could see it on her, and so, in that anger and in that resentment for everything that was going on, and from the hurt of my father leaving. These men who had become father figures, and the hurt and disappointment I saw in how the people of God were treating one another, led me to leave and start withdrawing. I didn’t want anything to do with the church, to be quite honest. I was like, if church people treat each other this way, why would I want to be a part of that? Not having the maturity at that stage in my life to process all of those things, I went out into the world and was like a wild horse, doing just about anything and everything that I was big enough and bad enough to do, and my life headed downhill quickly. I eventually moved to Ohio when I was 23, after being born and raised in New York, to be with a woman with whom I had a long-distance relationship, and things continued to deteriorate in my life. Then, I began a relationship that resulted in my son’s conception. I didn’t want my son to go down the road that I was going down—I wanted to be the best father I could be because that was something that I didn’t have growing up, and I knew that the only one who could help me to do these things was God. I knew that I didn’t want to end up like so many people that I knew who had children all over the place without their fathers. So, the Lord brought me back into the church. I started attending a church that was perfect for me at the time because it was a heavily disciplinarian ministry, and that’s what I needed, as I was out in the world. Accountability, challenge, and forward momentum were what I needed to avoid wandering, and someone guided me. My mentors challenged me to grow and develop, and through that, the Lord began to work in my life. And I’m grateful because God saved my life, not just my soul. He saved my life through that ministry so I wouldn’t wind up as one of these men who are out there with children all over the place and have no idea who they are. Still, more importantly, so I would grow in the truth of who God is, the Word of God, and His character, integrity, purpose, and promises for my life. This needed to happen, so God placed me exactly where I needed to be and where I wanted to be. In contrast, I think many believers would be resistant to that type of discipline because they may feel that they can handle things on their own, and they told me that I couldn’t handle things on my own and they would be in my business, and that helped me to grow in the Word of God and the things of God. The Lord knows what I needed, and He knows what everyone needs. I would challenge you to submit to someone who is an authority. I challenge you to submit to an authority figure, allowing them to guide you so that God’s gifts can mature and be fully manifested in your life.

You minister now, correct?  Yes, I do.

When we spoke on the phone, you said that we are vessels to be used by God. How do you get your sermons? 

Well, number one, I’m always going before the Lord and praying, which is the first and foremost thing you’ve got to do. The Holy Spirit will speak to you. He speaks to us in different ways, but when He speaks to me, He’ll then show me things about the things I see happening around me. I see things that are happening in the spirit—everything is spiritual and has a spiritual core. Then, He’ll lead me into the scriptures. And not just like one scripture because we need to be careful about that—using one scripture can be taken entirely out of context, so He’ll show me scriptures, a chapter, a passage in the Bible and how it correlates with what’s going on and what His will is in correlation to that scripture and whether it lines up or is misaligned with the Word of God. And then, through that process, He’ll give me the message to share, and I fully yield to the Lord. Take this message however you want to take it. Yes, I research to understand the historical and cultural contexts of the scripture and its original meaning. Still, I also seek what the Holy Spirit wants to accomplish—what message He wants to communicate to people—through these scriptures. Mind you, the first ministry is happening to me. He’ll speak to me and get my heart right. So when He begins to minister to me, and I begin to research and study the scriptures, and He shows me how they correlate, then I say, “Lord, you have to get my heart right. I’ll then ask myself, “How is my heart in correlation to scripture?” So if it’s a word of correction, then, Lord, “You need to correct my heart.” If it is a word of inspiration, then, Lord, “Inspire my heart. If it’s a word that challenges people to come up in Christ, Lord, "Challenge me first." The Word says we must be the first partakers of the Word, so I am the first partaker. And through that process, God gives me a message for the sermons. I must say that over the years, as this has happened and I have yielded more to the Lord, allowing Him to work through this process, I believe that God is glorified. So when I get up and speak, I don’t want people looking and saying, “Man, Joe is just a fantastic speaker—Joe is this, Joe is that.” I want them to say, “Joe is a servant of the Lord, and he speaks truth according to the Word of God—not his truth, but the Word of God.” That’s imperative to me. So, God guides me through that process, sometimes quickly and sometimes more slowly, as He refines me so that I communicate His Word, not my own thoughts or ideas. Sometimes, I hear this from some preachers after they put a message together: they say, “I’m going to knock this out of the park,” and that’s not the point of a message—it’s for God to be glorified through ministering to the hearts and minds of people who are in your presence. So, if you’re looking to craft a message that knocks it out of the park, you’re in the wrong business because that’s not what it’s about. This is not about you being glorified—it’s not about you becoming famous or having your name on a billboard. It has nothing to do with you! We are vessels to be used by God for His glory, and that’s it. I’ve said this to many people: on my tombstone, what I want written is ‘Serving the Lord.’ All of this that God has allowed me to accomplish and be a part of comes down to being a servant of the Lord. And that’s what ministering is about; it has nothing to do with us. We’re vessels to be used by God. Yes, God uses people, but let’s not get twisted because the minute we begin to think it’s all about us, we’re going to fall.

Joe, you are also a success coach and a life coach. How do you weave your faith into that? 

Well, the story was interesting because, as I previously stated, I was one of those very shy children who didn’t want to be in front of anybody. My family can attest to that. There are videos somewhere of me in the choir, slowly drifting into the background. After my son was born, I became involved in a church, and they encouraged me to grow. I believe my son was in the first grade at the time, and the school was implementing a program called character education, which involved bringing in guest speakers or entertainment to talk to the kids, so he said to me, “Dad, you should come to my school and do the character education.” I responded, “What am I going to talk about?” And he replied, “Well, since you’re preaching to me at home all the time, you should come to school and talk to the kids.” So, I took him up on it and developed a character called The Hero, which stands for Healthy Emotions, Relationship, and Outlook. My son helped me create a costume and picked out the colors. We then did a test run at my church, and they loved it. Then, we took it to a school, and it was a hit. Through that, I began to weave biblical principles into the story of this character and present it to the students. There was even a hero pledge that they would recite at the end, emphasizing their commitment to serving their community and being selfless, so all of those principles were incorporated. And then, I was at an event at one of the largest malls in Columbus, Ohio, when a lady called me over and said, “Come here, young man.” Mind you, I was in my Spandex and cape, thinking, “Oh, boy, what does she want?” She proceeded to say, “I need to talk to you. I can see you doing that, in a suit and tie.” And I’m thinking, what? I’m talking to these kids. Anyway, some serious life events ended up happening, and I had to hang up the costume and cape for a bit. Then, I asked the Lord, “What do you want me to do now?” He began to show me that adults are basically like big kids and many times, they are individuals who never resolved a lot of their childhood issues and trauma, and they carry these things into adulthood. So, the Lord showed me how to apply the same biblical principles and values, repackage them, and present them to different organizations, which led me to speak at Fortune 500 companies. Mind you, the Lord helped me break it all down and had me do the Hero project so I could act like someone else, thus getting me accustomed to being in front of people. It’s not that I don’t get nervous; I rely on the Lord when it happens. So, I applied these principles to adults, corporations, businesses, and churches. People loved what was being shared and would come to me to ask, “How do you come up with this? Where are you getting this stuff from?” And I would say, “The Word of God.” Let me give you an example of when I got my first contract with a Fortune 500 company. The supervisors invited me to speak, and over two to three weeks, I developed the proposal. I had my folders, and everything was color-coded, and I went to sit down and heard God say to me, “Put it away.” I said, “What?” And He said it again, “Put it away.” So, I take the folders I spent two or three weeks on and put them away. I will tell you, don’t do this unless God tells you to do it. I said, “Okay, God—I have nothing because all my stuff is in that folder.” The supervisors came over, brought me some papers, put them in front of me, and sat down. And they say, “So what do you think?” And it was like the Lord put a puzzle in front of my face. It looked like a literal puzzle, and I could see everything. I could see where everything fit. And as I sat down, I looked, and I said, “Oh, that’s easy. All you have to do is this, this, this, and this.” The corporate heads are looking at each other and say, “How did you do that?” And I said, “Well, what do you mean? They responded, “No one has ever come in and done that before.” How did you do that?” I could see instantaneously precisely what needed to happen and what this company needed. And so they loved it. And brought me in and said, “We’re going to start you on a 6-month trial.” From that six-month trial, they gave me a full year. So the Lord was at work in that environment, and again, this was all Him. It wasn’t that because I’m so brilliant—that I’m so smart—that I’m so educated. This is the Lord, and the principles I taught within that group were all biblically based and Christ-inspired, so I was able to present them in that way. So, what does this all look like now? I’m able to help organizations do the sort of job now as a success coach, and working at the college is not so distant from what I was doing before and continue to do. People ask me, “How are you able to be as successful as you are with the students?” And the answer is that I’m not so much focused on their academics. The academic component is a symptom of what’s happening underneath, so we sit down and talk. Yes, I need to discuss the academics because they need to improve their grades. Still, the primary focus of the talk is on who they are as an individual and their purpose in life, as well as what makes them who they are in their future. They open up and inevitably, everyone who buys into the system, everyone who begins to trust and follow through—every last one of them—sees an improvement in their grades, a dramatic turnaround. Still, it’s not being focused on the academic component because I think we put too much emphasis on the performance and not enough on the person. However, if I focus on the person God made, the performance will follow. Not because they feel like they have to do it, but because they have a desire to do it because God is working through them.

Based on your own experiences, what advice would you offer to those seeking to deepen their faith or embark on a path of personal development?

Based on my experience as a success coach, there are commonalities of success in our lives, whether they are spiritual or natural. The first thing to be aware of is that we must be mindful of them and how we spend our time. We need to be aware of how we spend our time. Many of us are mismanaging our time within the same 24 hours that we all have. It exists for every one of us. So I have to decide what I’m going to do within those 24 hours. Now, I understand that we have long days, and many of us face challenges throughout our days. But perhaps when I get home, instead of immediately turning on the TV or getting distracted by social media, I should invest some time in studying the Word of God and in worship and prayer. Many may say that they don’t have enough time to pray. Let me calculate this for you and your listeners. The average person in the United States of America—let’s say they spend 5 hours a day watching TV or on the Internet. We’re going to make it as little as possible, even though we know people do more. So let’s say 5 hours a day. That means we spend 35 hours a week on either television or social media. Okay, well, there’s your time right there that you could be investing in reading scripture. So, when people say they don’t have the time, we need to be aware of how we spend our time. 

The second thing I encourage for those of us who want to grow spiritually is that we need to learn to be humble before the Lord. And as we discussed earlier in this conversation, submit to someone who is in authority and can speak into our lives. I get it—there is church hurt—I get it; there is pain, but through the leading of the Holy Spirit, ask the Lord to lead you to someone who can disciple, mentor, or shepherd you so that you can grow in Christ, not just for your benefit, but for the benefit of the souls that God will lay before you. There are people that you’re going to minister to on your job, dare I say, in your own homes, at the grocery store—wherever—so we need people in our lives to do that. Be mindful of the time that you have. If you need to schedule it and write it out, do so. For example, from 7:00 to 8:00, this is my time for reading, studying the Word, and worship. You need to do this consistently until it becomes a part of your identity and feels automatic. And then what will happen is that the Bible says those who hunger and thirst for righteousness will be satisfied. So as I’m in the Word of God, as I’m worshipping, as I’m praying, as I’m doing those things, He’s going to give you a hunger and a thirst so that you won’t even feel right, not out of guilt. Still, you won’t feel right because it will become an integral part of who you are: prayer, worship, and studying the Word of God are just as essential as breathing air. You can’t go a day without it. That would be my encouragement to those who are listening and watching today.

Joe shared his story on Truth, Talk & Testimonies

Joe's story can be found on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies podcast platforms

A Warrior’s Journey: Restoring Your Identity

 

Angelo, can you take us back to when everything in your life began to unravel? What were you going through physically, emotionally, and spiritually?

Yeah. The crazy part is I’ve told this story plenty of times before, and every time I share it, a part of me feels it again. I used to think that was bad, but I realized it’s just a reminder of where God has taken me and taken me through. I used to be a police officer in California, so my background is in law enforcement. I come from a family of warriors—my grandpa and uncles have all served in some form of military, and even my dad was in the US Army, and my little brother was in the Navy. So, growing up, I was always around warriors, sharing stories of all the cool stuff they did. I couldn’t wait until I, too, could share and partake in those stories. When I got out of high school, I got injured, and that took me out of going to the Army, so I went into law enforcement, and it’s still something in the warrior community. So I was in law enforcement at the peak of my career and experienced a lot of darkness and violence day-to-day to the point I turned away from my faith because I was like, “God, how are you letting these crimes and violence happen to these good people?” As a police officer, you go from call to call, never knowing what you’ll encounter—sometimes it’s nothing, and other times it’s crazy, so you don’t see what you’ll step into next. You become desensitized to it because your hormones and adrenaline levels are always up and down. Each day, you arrive unsure if it will be your last, so you master suppressing the trauma you witness to remain fully present for the next call demanding your service or protection. My career took a dramatic turn when I received an invitation to try out for the Police Department SWAT team. This is what I lived for and wanted to do. At this point in my life, I have seen and experienced enough darkness that I have stopped going to church. Growing up, my family and I would attend church every Sunday, but after seeing everything, I got turned off, and everything I saw and experienced didn’t make sense. Preparation eliminates nervousness, as you’ve done everything possible to succeed. Coming up to the day of the SWAT test, I was in the best shape of my life. With all my training and trial runs, I was confident I would make the team. The morning of the SWAT test, I’m prepared and ready to tear it up and get on the team. I had breakfast and was leaving on time, but as I picked up my bags by the door and reached for the doorknob to open it, something didn’t feel right in my heart. I had this weird anxiety, so I shut the door, put my bags down, and did something I hadn’t done in years—I knelt to say a quick “insurance prayer,” and the last part of my prayer to God was, “Let your will be done.” When I got to the police department, I warmed up, and then it was my turn. I started to go through all the obstacles and was having a perfect time, and then I got to the part I had done hundreds of times in the last six months of training: jumping over a wall. I slipped on the grass and hit my knee into the wall, which dislocated my knee and messed up my hips and back. I remember screaming out in pain. All the police chiefs and the staff were there, and I was cursing every word that I could think of. The ambulance took me to the hospital, and I lay in my hospital bed, the pain medicine wearing off. I clicked the button for the nurses to help, and my body was shaking from the pain I was in. So, I called for help, but nobody was coming—I felt invisible. At this moment, I remember thinking, “What is going on? Why can’t I get some medicine?” I looked down in distress and then looked up into the light on the ceiling and started cursing God, “Why did you do this to me? Do you know what I had to sacrifice to get my career? I left my fiancé in Chicago and missed birthdays and other special celebrations. I missed everything, and you take it away like this??!!" Of all the scenarios I envisioned happening in my life and purpose, this was not one of them. And just like a parent reprimands their children, I heard God remind me, “Do you remember that prayer you said? What was the last part?" I was initially surprised, but then I remembered the last part of my morning prayer before the SWAT test: “Whatever happens, Lord, let your will be done.” 

All the best doctors in California treated me during my recovery in an attempt to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. My healing wasn’t progressing as quickly as everyone had hoped—I had already injured my other knee. I was eager to return to the streets in uniform in six months. Four months after my accident, my good friend and mentor, Sergeant Scott, died in a shooting on the streets. Another one of my good friends called me, letting me know what happened. After this, my physical therapy and healing stopped progressing. I believe that my healing plateaued because I was hurting so much mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually—hurting in every way. Being in my mid-20s, I didn’t know how to cope. I grew up in a family where my dad told us to shake it off. Because what I was going through was an internal emotional and spiritual pain, it was tough. I much prefer to feel physical pain. From that point, my physical therapy progress plateaued and then declined, surprising my doctors. I believe that how most men deal with things is to drink or play video games, and that’s what I did, too. It was my coping mechanism to feel short-term goodness because I was hurting so much. A couple of months later, I got a call from a police department representative, and then they sent my buddy, Rick, to come and get my gear. This is the protocol they go through when they retire an officer. In my mind, I was thinking, “You’re not giving me up just yet, are you? After everything I’ve done for this city!” I remember my buddy coming to take my gun, badge, and radio, putting everything in a box, and then putting it in his trunk—I know it not only hurt me, but it hurt him, too. At that point, I felt my identity as a warrior was slipping away and being put in a box. This happened the same year, and I didn’t understand much about what was happening. 

I think many people forget that they may get some sign or message from God, and think everything will be a piece of cake. No, there will be wilderness parts of our lives because we don’t get to where we are overnight, and sometimes we’re asking God to add things to our lives—to give us things—but really, we need to have things taken away. We must remember that subtraction is equally as powerful and important as addition. We’re always praying for more: a better house, a better this, a better that,  gives me more. But how are we handling and stewarding the things that we already have? We don’t need to keep adding more. Sometimes, we need things taken away, and I think that’s what God was doing with me—He was taking things away. He let me experience my years in law enforcement and the tactical life, and He was teaching me to trust Him, that He would use everything I have done and learned. 

Can you share the Sunday morning you visited a high school parking lot? After this, things began to change. 

This was when the stripping away of everything started happening, and I lost my identity as a warrior. Now, I’m confused. What am I supposed to do? I have no degree. I’ve got two messed-up knees, a messed-up hip, and a messed-up back—now, what am I supposed to do? I can’t do the things I want to do. I can’t go to the military. What now? I didn’t want a desk job. I was in such a dark place. And like I said. What do many guys do when they are struggling? We drink and play video games. So, I started drinking, eating a lot, and gaining weight. My wife would come home after work and ask if I was okay. It came to a point where I almost took my life. My wife was at work, and the devil was whispering in my mind that I was nothing, I had no degree, and I was worthless, and how was I going to provide for my wife? So, when she went to work that day, I believed all the lies I could see around me were problems. No one knew I was hurting because I’m a goofy, funny dude who was good at masking things and diverting attention away from me by making people laugh. I fought the lies I was believing and hearing in my head and knew that I couldn’t do it, so I walked out of my apartment using my crutches, got in the car, and just drove. I didn’t know where I was going because I didn’t have a destination—I just kept moving, and then I ended up in this high school parking lot, and with the beautiful California weather, I had all the windows down. In the distance, I could hear music. I recognized this music because I grew up in church. I said, “That sounds like church music, but it’s a high school?” I got out of the car and saw a crowd walking, so I followed them into the gymnasium, a church that rented out the high school for Sunday services. I sat down in the back, and it felt weird but calm and comforting at the same time. The pastor’s name was Ryan, and he preached out of the book of Habakkuk and said to everyone, “Most of you have never heard of this book, and many preachers don’t speak from this book. It’s such a small book in the Bible. A lot of you probably have never even heard of it. When he goes on preaching, he talks about how Habakkuk continued to question God and why He was allowing all these things to happen. Why are you allowing all this violence to happen around me? And I felt he was speaking directly to me. Yeah. Then, Pastor Ryan shared a personal story. One summer, he took a sabbatical, a brief vacation to rest. On his sabbatical, he could spend every day with his daughter, who may have been around 3 or 4 years old. When the sabbatical was over and it was time for him to return to work, his daughter asked him, “Where are you going?” And he told her, “We’re not going to hang out today; I’m sorry, honey. I’ve got to get back to church.” She asked, Why? And he told her, “Well, I’m the pastor, and my sabbatical is over.” She asked, Why? Because, “It’s my responsibility. It’s how I get paid and how we pay the bills.” She kept asking why, and he tried to explain it to her. Then, at one point, his daughter ran away, returned with her piggy bank, gave it to him, and said, “Here you go, Daddy. Now, you don’t have to go back to work anymore.”

He shared that story to reference Habakkuk—sometimes we ask God, “Why this? Why that? Why, why, why?” Why did this happen to me? Why did you allow this? But even if God gave us the answer, we still wouldn’t be able to handle it or fully understand what He’s trying to do in our lives. So it’s like, “Why this, God, why that?” He’s like, no, you’re not going to get it. No, no, no, tell me. Just tell me. No, no, no, you’re not going to get it. Just tell me. I swear I’ll get it. And then He tells us, and we’re like, huh, and it makes no sense. And that’s exactly the feeling I got. I may not understand the darkness that I’m in—I may not understand the violence that’s around me—I may not understand the depression that is going on in my life right now. And I can continue to ask Him why, but even if He gave me the answer, would I be able to receive His answer and understand?

I remember breaking down crying when the praise and worship music started. I knew God had placed me at the perfect time and place with the ideal message to speak into my life. It was perfect. As I was crying with my eyes closed, I felt a cool, watery substance on the top of my head, behind my neck, and on my back, slowly dripping down to my feet. Initially, I thought someone behind me took a bottle of water and poured it on my head, and I almost switched into fight mode, but then I noticed that it didn’t feel like water because it was moving slowly and was cool. At that moment, God told me He loves me and He didn’t forget about me, and it was then that God got my attention.  

I shared earlier that my family was a big warrior type. So, I learned my identity as a warrior from my dad, which carried me on to the first half of my career. Still, I knew faith through my mom, and that’s what carried me on for life because when the world took my badge and gun—when the world took my gun, when the world gave me the identity of a warrior and then took it away—the only thing left was my identity as a son and child of God; that was the only thing. This reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures. It’s James 1:2-4 where it says, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” So, instead of looking at the trials we go through as God hating us, not loving us, or forgetting about us, sometimes He uses opportunities to mold us. Remember when I was talking about adding versus taking away? Sometimes, this is Him taking away, and it’s that identity that people miss. When the world took my identity as a warrior, my identity in Christ carried me through.

So when we live in and by the world, have our confidence come from the world, have our identities be from the world, and have our faith be in the world, when that’s gone, what’s left? I speak confidently because I know what it did to me. When the world took everything away, and I didn’t have anything else, my faith was the last thing I turned to. And yet, you know what? That’s probably the first thing I should have been leaning into this whole time—faith and faith in God and my identity in Him.

What inspired you to start Operation Redwood, and what does the name mean?

I must shout out to my buddy Samuel because he asked me if I was born in Redwood City, California, and if I knew anything about redwood trees. Samuel said the redwood trees are massive, but their roots are shallow and intertwine, so you can’t pull one tree out without pulling all the others out. They can create a stable base because their roots are intertwined like a church community. Then he shared that when one of their seeds falls to the ground, it won’t open up unless there’s some stress put on it, such as fire or a flood—stress needs to be applied to that seed so it can open up and become another redwood tree. That’s like the James 1:2-4 verse. There’s a process in this. I thought Redwood’s idea and name were cool, but didn’t know what to do with it next—it was just a cool name. 

Then, I had this dream that my home office was burning. The only things left standing that were not burnt or touched by the fire were my desk and computer; when I talked to people that I trusted about it who are deeply rooted in faith and biblically based, all concluded, including myself, that God was asking me to burn all of this down and focus on Him. 

At the time, I had equity in a couple of different companies. And to be completely honest, I was still unhappy. When I left the police department and went into entrepreneurship and business, I thought it would make me happy, but again, it was just trying to fill in the void that the police department had stripped away. The difference now was that I had a daughter. And if you guys have kids, you know, they’re going to see the things that you’re doing, and they’re also going to see the things that you don’t want them to see or do. So, in my mind, I was depressed, and I couldn’t have her replicate that. I couldn’t have her see that this was how I lived. And then, suddenly, maybe she might blame herself. Why Dad’s unhappy, why he’s never satisfied, why he’s always short-tempered, why he’s never giving us grace—that’s not the type of man, husband, or dad that I want to be. It was a six-month battle of trying to figure out if God wanted me to release equity, and, in a sense, I had debt I had to pay off, so I surrendered. 

And then God brought that whole Redwood thing that I had spoken to Samuel about months ago up again. If you look at our logo, you’ll see the three spears. Yes, it also looks like trees, which is cool. It stands for restoring manhood, rescuing kids, and rebuilding families. At the core of what we’re trying to do is to restore manhood. I chose the word restore because the buzzword was redefine in the entrepreneurship world at the time—Everyone was redefining fitness, redefining this, and redefining that. But really, we’re not redefining anything. 

God already built it to be what it’s supposed to be. So we’re not here to redefine. We’re trying to restore the original blueprint of what God had intended men to be. We desire to restore manhood and rescue kids by donating between 30% and 40% to support companies and organizations that are rescuing and rehabilitating human trafficking victims. Rescuing these kids is just part of it; the second part is that these children experience so much trauma, darkness, and violence, and they need God to come in and fill that hole with light. These children need rehabilitation—these girls’ and women’s identities are going to change, and their understanding of what a man is supposed to be like and what a woman is supposed to be like will change. They need to be restored, and that’s what we’re passionate about. I believe that when a man is whole, he is coming alive; kids, too, will be rescued, homes will be rebuilt, and traditional family values will be restored. 

There needs to be a strong man to lead the homes. I’m not trying to take away from women because they have an equally important role. I’m just speaking directly to the men right now. Because that’s what God called us to be, right? There’s a reason He made Adam first and then Eve. There’s a calling for men to step up and be the protectors that they were called to be. I believe that if we’re able to restore manhood, reach the men, and reach the hearts of these men, we’ll be able to save more kids and rebuild family values so that the whole trafficking stuff starts to push that back because that is evil and satanic.

Imagine the generations impacted—these women and kids will eventually become parents, and if their foundation is already rooted in that darkness, what do you think their kids will experience? So, Redwood has a two-pronged approach. One, we’re approaching men because men are the main offenders. We’re trying to reach the hearts of men and bring Jesus into their world, meeting them where they’re at. Change their hearts. And then, hopefully, that will lead to rescuing more kids, and that will lead to rebuilding more families. If we stick to what we do at Redwood, and our specialty is working with men, you know, helping them find vision, helping them find clarity, and helping them rebuild. If God can trust us to be faithful in a few things, then He can trust us to be faithful with all the other things He will entrust us with all for His glory.

What encouraging last words can you share?

There’s a story in the Bible of the parable of the talents, and many people are familiar with it. There was a master who had three servants. He gave five talents to one servant, to another, he gave two, and to another, he gave one. The master left, but when he returned, the guy with five talents made it ten, the one given two made two more, and the one given one talent hid it because he was afraid. I want people to take away that God sometimes gives people five, sometimes two, and sometimes one, yes, but I want people to remember that God never made zero-talent people. God never made you with zero talents. At the very least, you have at least one. I believe you have many more. And if you look deeper into the scripture, they say that when the master gave his servant the five, two, and one talent, he gave it according to their ability. You have something hidden in you that maybe you haven’t fully discovered yet that God still wants to use. God still wants to take whatever talent and make it more of a blessing to other people, just like we discussed earlier. No matter how dark it may be for you, no matter how lost you feel, or maybe a lack of identity or lack of vision, you need to remember that you were made on purpose, with a purpose, and He never made zero-talent people—you still have a story to tell—you still have a gift to share with the world, so don’t give up. 

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Angelo shared his story on Truth, Talk & Testimonies

Angelo's story can be found on the 

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Healing Journey Christian Tract--Free Download

 

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Beyond Church Walls

 

Can you share about your childhood, the progression of the addiction, going to prison, and how you came to Christ?

I grew up in a home, living with my mom and dad, back and forth. My childhood wasn’t the best. My parents physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me. I remember times when my mom would grab me by my hair and drag me across the floor in our house, and my dad would beat us with extension cords and coaxial cables—he would use anything he could get his hands on. My childhood was not as good as it could have been, and it was very traumatic. Despite this, I’m grateful to God for my upbringing, as my parents always supported my regular church attendance. Still, the main reason I was going to church as a kid was to escape the abuse that was going on at home—it was a relief for me to get out of a demonic atmosphere.

I always enjoyed worshiping God, being in the presence of church people, and being away from the house and the environment where I lived. I would attend church for this reason, but deep down, I sensed the Lord’s calling. When I went to church, I would look at the preachers who were preaching—I wanted to be like them—preach like them, talk like them, and dress like them, so I always knew in my heart that I was called to do something greater, but I didn’t know if I would ever make it to that point because of the abuse that I would suffer at my home. One thing, too, is when I was living with my mom, and when she would get tired of dealing with me, she would send me to my dad’s. And then, when my mom decided she would snatch me back out from my dad’s, and I would have to go back and live with her. I hated it. I didn’t want to go live with my mom. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents because they, too, were another escape for me when I was living at my dad’s house. Five different times while living there, someone molested me, so to escape, I either went to church or spent a lot of time at my grandma’s house—a way to get away and cope with what I was dealing with at home. 

When Did You Start Using Drugs?

As life went on, I slowly got into using drugs, and eventually, I started selling them too. I used to sell drugs all across the United States. We would load up U-Haul trucks with cocaine and marijuana and drive all over, distributing them. I became a full-blown alcoholic, drinking a fifth and a half of Jack Daniel’s daily. Back then, I didn’t realize it, but I now know I was trying to numb my pain and cope with the suffering I’d endured throughout my life.

It took me years to understand why I was deeply involved in that lifestyle. Even while I was using and selling drugs and drinking heavily, I still felt drawn to church. I would go to church even when I was high and had drugs in my pocket. There was something about being in that place—it felt good. It was a feeling I never experienced at home.

In February 1998, I got busted with seven pounds of marijuana and two eight balls of cocaine. They sent me to Harris County Jail in Texas and sentenced me to five years in prison. The judge’s sentence devastated me. I returned to my cell and called family members to tell them what happened. I told them I was going to prison for five years.

In county jail, you typically wait about 45 days before being transferred to a state prison. While waiting, I unexpectedly received a letter saying the parole board wanted to see me. It was strange being called before the parole board before even setting foot in prison—but they granted me parole. I was so excited. I thought I was getting out and could start putting my life back together.

I called my family—my mom, dad, aunts, and uncles—to let them know I’d made parole and ask if I could stay with them. One by one, they all hung up the phone. Nobody wanted me in their home. My family rejected me again. I was the black sheep of the family. Because I didn’t have a place to parole, I ended up serving the full five-year sentence.

The prison was no cakewalk. There’s a lot that goes on in there. While inside, I spent a lot of time thinking about my life. I knew I could’ve been out if I had just had an address. I started calling friends and acquaintances—anyone—and asked if I could use their addresses just to get released. I told them I didn’t need to stay with them to use the address. Every single person rejected me.

One night, I was sitting on my bunk, devastated. I was 18 years old and scared. I began to pray and cry out to God. I poured out my pain and sorrow, and I repented. Then I heard God speak to me in a still, small voice:

“If you are going to be healed, if you’re going to be set free and delivered, and if I’m going to use you, I need you to forgive the people in your life who have ever hurt you.”

God told me to call out the name of every single person who had hurt me, abused me, misused me, or wounded me in any way. He gave me clear instructions:

“Call them out by name. Say that you forgive them. Say that you love them. And release them into My hands.”

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. With every name I spoke, I cried like a baby. It got harder and harder, but I kept going. That night, I forgave everyone and truly surrendered my life to the Lord.

And this time, it was real.

Before, I had gone through the motions and did the “church” things, such as when the pastor said come to the altar, I went to the altar; when he said say a prayer, I said a prayer; and when he said get baptized, I got baptized, but nothing changed. There was no deliverance, no healing, no freedom. It wasn’t until I was completely alone, rejected by everyone else, that I realized I needed a Savior. That’s when everything started to change.

Did you get involved in prison ministry or Bible studies while you were in prison, and when did you get out?

I did a lot of Bible studies through the mail, I signed up for a mentorship, and they assigned me a mentor, who paid for my Bible college. I went to a college in Louisiana and became a pastor and became what God called me to be, so I spent a lot of time studying God’s word, being involved in chaplaincy, and praying with other ministers and prison inmates. I’ve seen a lot of people give their lives to the Lord, and God used me in the prisons, and then I got out on May 9th, 2003. Upon release, I immediately visited my son; I had impregnated a woman before my imprisonment, and she gave birth while I was incarcerated. So when I got out, I traveled by bus from Houston to Oklahoma City to see him. When I arrived in downtown Oklahoma City near the Greyhound bus station, there was a ministry called Celebration of Life Church. They were having a men’s prayer gathering, and the leader of the men’s group had a short Bible study, so I went in and sat there and listened. On my bus ride back to Houston, I heard the Lord speak to me again… “I want you to sell everything you have, and I want you to move to Oklahoma.” So, when I got back, I put up a sign at my apartment to sell everything and quit my job. I was trying to sell everything at my apartment so I would have the money to get on a bus, go to Oklahoma, and have some extra cash to help me get through some things, find a place to live, and get settled. I gave myself a week, and in that entire week, nobody came by the house and bought anything. Well, the night before I was to leave to get on a bus, this little old lady who lived in a tiny traveling trailer came to my apartment and she bought everything and said, “I don’t know why I’m buying all this stuff.” And I don’t know where I’m going to put it.” She even bought my curtains! 

So I got on the bus and went to Oklahoma. I started attending the church where that Bible study was, and I was there for 4-5 years. I ended up becoming the associate pastor. It was a good time of training and discipleship for me, and I’m grateful for the opportunity because it allowed me to get into ministry, see the ins and outs of running a church, and be part of praying for people, preaching, and ministering.  

Did you go back to Texas after having some ministry training? 

Yes, I ended up going back to Texas and got a job. I wasn’t involved in a lot of ministries for the first year. Then I felt I’ve always had a burden for homeless people, drug addicts, prostitutes, inmates, and ex-inmates because I understand them—I understand the addiction and struggle and know how it feels to be in their shoes. My wife and I started doing homeless ministry by making 40-60 plates of food, loading them up in our car with our two children, and going downtown, pulling up under a bridge, handing out food, praying for people, giving them clothes, and making up bags of personal care products—it was a blessing to be able to serve and be a light for Christ. We didn’t have much money but did what we could, and God always provided. God also used this time as ministry training.

Through all that I went through in my past, I never quit dreaming. I never quit hoping. I never quit having faith in God. As I was healing, I continued to struggle and fall, but I continued to get back up, and I always held on to God. 

Maybe you too are in between, and you know what you should be doing—you know your purpose as I did, but you may not see it in the natural realm right now, but if you keep praying and believing, keep fasting, and keep seeking the Lord for whatever it is that He’s called and predestined and ordained for you to do—don’t ever give up because I know that what God has started in you, He is faithful and will complete it. He will be with you as you complete your mission and what God has called you to do.

My heart is beyond the church walls because everything that we do is supposed to be—we’re to be servants for the people. Being in church and being behind the scenes and involved in it, I saw that there wasn’t a lot of outreaches or discipleship, and I didn’t want to stay cooped up in a building with the same 20, 30, 40, or 50 people for the next 20, 30, 40, or 50 years. I don’t believe that God designed the church to be there doing the same thing repeatedly. We’re supposed to go out into the highways and byways to compel the people to enter the church. That’s why I believe God gave me the name Beyond Walls. 

We would have worship at park events, pray for people, and baptize them in the parks; focus on community outreach; and follow up on evangelism. I would invite several churches to partner with us and help us put on the event so that when we go out into the community, there will be different churches, ministers, and people giving people options. We’re not there to get you to come to our church—they have options where they may like to attend and grow in their relationship with Jesus. Jesus himself was an evangelist and didn’t stay within the church walls, and I believe we are to follow in his footsteps and do the same.

Beyond Walls & Beyond FM Radio

Pastor Brian shared his story on Truth, Talk & Testimonies

Pastor Brian's story can be found on the VictoryEmbraced:  Truth, Talk & Testimonies podcast platforms